In Case You Don’t Have 40mins to Watch glee – 3×07 I Kissed a Girl

Previously on glee: Santana bitch-slapped Finn! Rachel withdrew herself as a candidate for class president so Kurt could win to get into NYADA. Coach Beiste crushes on Cooter Menkins and Puck crushes on Shelby. Burt vs Sue vs Pizza Sauce Boss for congress = commercial war and people getting mad.

Now on glee:

This practically captures the essence of the whole episode

 ***

Figgins wants to suspend Santana for slapping Finn, and that means she won’t be able to perform in sectionals. *lightbulb moment* Finn speaks up and tells Figgins that she didn’t actually slap him because he wants a fair fight against the Troubletones in sectionals/feels sorry for her and thinks she’s awesome/needs her for a lesson. He mostly did it because she needs him to be in school so there would actually be an episode to watch. Look at that, Finn can actually think on his feet instead of tripping over them when he dances!

Kurt and Rachel talk elections, and Kurt thinks about pulling a JFK – cheat by stuffing the ballot boxes with votes in his favour (not killing Brittany). Finn introduces the glee club and the troubletones to “LADY MUSIC WEEK” so they can all support Santana in her unplanned coming out commercial! Finally, Finn shows us why he’s leader of this club instead of being jealous of Blaine. But let’s also all remember that everyone knows about Santana because of Finn blabbering in the hallways! Finn gives Santana a cool heart-to-heart speech about her being special because she was his first and he doesn’t want her to die and that’s why he was doing all of this. Back at the glee club, after two performances, Santana is still holding up her defensive front but finally breaks down after Finn’s performance. Puck kept on making sex eyes at Shelby during his performance even though he made it seem like he was looking at Quinn (who was efficiently sitting right in front of Shelby). Anyway, everyone fell for it…..except Quinn. She invites him over for sex, and Puck politely declines. Good for him for realizing she’s a psycho!

Sue’s next campaign weapon is a guy on her arms, and after going through her book of “booty calls” she finally decides on the perfect one. Coach Beiste finds them in Breadstix having a date after ordering a shitload of chicken for herself. The guy is none other than Cooter Menkins! This is a sad shock because she thought everything was going well, and was surprised to hear him tell her that he needs more than weightlifting dates at the gym. Santana comes out to her parents who are A-OKAY with it (yay!), the only person left to tell is her Abolita (aww). Here’s how that goes: sweet old abolita who Santana looks up to completely disowns her and tells her that keeping it a secret would have been a smarter choice (damn…sadface).

Baby Beth slips and hurts herself, so Shelby calls Puck to come to the hospital because she has no one else. Vulnerable Shelby + Puck demanding that Beth gets stitches from a plastic surgeon = they totally did it! Then she tells him to leave and that’s when Puck stands up for himself. Told her that she was a coward and to go screw herself. Now, he goes to Quinn’s place for round two but he can’t go through with it. And also because she only wanted him to make another baby. So he gives her a whole speech about how messed up she is (which is partly his fault), and then they cuddle. I like Smart Puck.

Figgins calls Kurt into his office and tells him that he won by 190 votes – which is clearly impossible – so he accuses him of cheating and threatens him with suspension. The twist? He didn’t do it. Rachel did. And now she’s suspended and won’t be able to perform in sectionals next week *glee club sees their chances at sectionals getting blown up*

P.S: Burt wins the elections for congress and Kurt admits defeat and tells Brittany to rule fabulously. Beiste tells Cooter how she really feels about him and tells Sue that she ain’t going down with a fight because Cooter likes both of them.

Songs

  1. “Perfect” by Pink – Kurt & Blaine (it’s their car song!)
  2. “I’m the Only One” by Melissa Etheridge – Puck
  3. “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Greg Laswell – Finn & the guys
  4. “Jolene” by Dolly Parton – Coach Beiste
  5. “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry – Santana, Rachel & the girls
  6. “Constant Craving” by k.d. lang – Santana, Kurt, & Shelby

All the songs were great in today’s ep, but I think my favourite would have to be “I’m the Only One” by Noah Puckerman! The guy is a badass, so when he sings a song he can put an edge to it. He makes the perfect facial expressions that are effective in the whole performance, it’s just great to watch and hear.

Best Lines

“Slushies are not on the school board’s list of suspend-worthy weapons” – Principal Figgins to Santana

“If elected, I will make sure to have sugary treats available at all times to help with concentration. That’s what George Washington said.” – Brittany to her people *Rachel disapproves, it’s bribing!* *Principal Figgins approves! yum, pixie stix!*

“I’ll have to move to New York without my best gay. What if I need an emergency makeover or a last-minute souffle?” – Rachel contemplating how Brittany winning elections will affect her

“Ya know the advantages of a relationship with a younger dude is that I still got four more rounds in me before I need a steak sandwich and a coke zero” – Puck to Shelby after they did the deed

Brittany: You’re still the most unicorn of them all

Kurt: Maybe I can put that on my NYADA applications

Next week on glee: Sam is back!

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